Thursday, June 4, 2009

What happens when you have too much time on your hands

Two weeks off work is definitely TOO much time on my hands. I have things I "need" to be doing, things I "want" to do, and things that just some how come up every day that take my time instead. If if weren't for this durn internet thing, I'd probably get some of the things that I "need" to do done. Oh, well.

On the plus side - not being able to eat or drive for two weeks sure saves a lot of money! Seriously - I was balancing my account today and was amazed! However, not being able to eat is actually pretty depressing. Yes, I can certainly focus on the ultimate goal; and doing so makes me feel better. However, sometimes you just want to taste something. Besides protein drinks or shakes, of course.

It is still a struggle when I put anything in my stomach, and I have to admit it is becoming quite depressing. I had been feeling pretty well last weekend, and starting Monday had setting into my 3 meals a day plus vitamins. I felt pretty good on Monday, but on Tuesday the nausea come back in full force. So, I am back to drinking protein drinks, 1.7 oz at a time, and even that is making me nauseous. Thus the depression. Again, I am focusing on the long-term goals, and that does help, but there is also the here-and-now to consider.

I walk every day - usually twice a day unless it is raining. I even added a little jogging into the mix last night and I felt pretty good afterwards.

The boredom is the worst part. I have read 3 books and countless magazines, taken at least two walks a day, watched numerous hours of dvr and a couple of movies, and I am now completely restless and bored. I can only read so much, can only watch so much tv, etc. I think I could get over the feeling of nausea every time I eat (drink), it I were able to drive myself somewhere! A friend took me to Wal-mart yesterday, and even though I had a list, I didn't get everything I needed because it is different when you are on someone else's time. My mom's birthday card is going to be late, because I had to have someone drive me to the store to buy her a card. This is SO not the world I am used to living in! It is one thing to step back and reflect and use the down-time for prayer and meditation - believe me, I have done PLENTY of that. Now, I am just ready to get out of here and take this show on the road! I go see the doctor on Tuesday for my 2-week post-op appointment, and all I hope to hear is good news.

Sorry to be so negative; I'm just being honest.


  1. Your post sounds amazingly upbeat to me. I can only imagine the mental strain this would put on me, I think you're far stronger than you realize. You're on my daily prayer list and am enjoying the updates. Just think you're half way there, you can do this!

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  3. Whitney - thanks for your encouragement and your prayers! I know I couldn't be doing this without them!