Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Just Listen, Rebecca!

If you know me, you can imagine I have heard that line a million times in my life. I figure there are two main times a person is told to/urged to listen - when a solution is needed, or when a mistake is made. Honestly, I don't like to listen, unless I ask a question. When it comes to the first scenario - when a solution is needed - I am a problem solver; a figure-it-out-er. I would rather come up with my own solution than listen to someone else's. To be honest, I usually think my solution is best anyway. Not to be arrogant, but I rarely make rash decisions, I look at situations from multiple angles, and often times I can look at a situation and figure out a solution by just looking at it. When it comes to the other scenario - when a mistake has been made -I'll just be honest again - I don't like my mistakes pointed out. I'm sure I have some deep psychological issue that leads to this, but from my perspective, I'm a perfectionist. I take my actions seriously, and I do everything I can to keep from making a mistake, and when I do make mistakes (which is often - I may be honest, but I'm not delusional!), I usually catch them quickly.

So, all that being said, I don't like to listen. I'm not very good at it - just ask my parents! So these last few weeks have been very interesting for me. I have been hearing god's voice in some of the most obscure places and circumstances. What is so interesting about it is that all during college and my early adulthood, I remember being so frustrated because people would always say they 'heard' God's voice. I never felt like I experienced that. Sure, I would recognize things in readings or could hear through another person's words or teachings, but I always felt like I was on the outside of something that everyone else had experienced. It was very frustrating for me, and I even read books on the topic of 'hearing God'. Then, for a few years after that, I stopped trying to listen all together. I was frustrated with my life circumstances, and I figured that if I hadn't heard him before then, it just wasn't going to happen. Silly, me!

Suffice it to say, some major things have been going on in my world lately, and I could not imagine trying to make the decisions I had had to make without listening! What has truly blown me away about the whole process is that I have been given a peace about much more than I could have every imagined. It is amazing what happens when you just listen!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Breaking the silence.....

There is a very legitimate reason for my lack of posting on my blog in the past month. SO much has been going on, but until now, I feel it was in my best interest to keep it off the internet. I'll write this post how I like to read things - first the news, then the details! So...for the news (if you do not yet know):

I'm moving to TEXAS!!!!!!
Ok, now that that is out of the way....haha! I have accepted a job at the University of Texas - Arlington effective May 4th. I have always said that I will know when it is time to move back home, and for the past year I have felt that time rapidly approaching. At one point, I made a decision that I would move at the end of the semester even if I had not found a job. However...as He always does, God had a plan of his own! When this job came along in late October, I wasn't serious looking because I wanted to wait until the end of the school year. However, I couldn't pass up the opportunity, so I applied. Lots of pieces fell into place - including the morning after I saw the job posting the supervisor of the new job called my current supervisor about the job. The new position is working with a program called Supplemental Instruction, and the center I work in at UMKC is the International Center for SI. I had a phone interview between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and went down for an in-person interview the Friday before MLK Day.
I am excited about being closer to family, and I am looking forward to this career move. This has not been an easy decision for me; in fact, I think this has been the most difficult decision I have ever had to make on my own. I will leave behind some amazing co-workers, a program I have build from the ground up, friends that have become a second family, an amazing city that has four real seasons (!), and many other things. However, at the end of the day, my family is the most important thing to me, and to have an opportunity to be closer to them is priceless.
As the next ten weeks fly by, I have a lot of things to finish up in Kansas City....but on the other hand I have many things I am looking forward to.
When I told my director at work about my decision, he was incredibly supportive and encouraging. He even told me that the hardest part of the process was making the decision, but that once the decision is made, it will all be easier after that. Let me tell you...that is so true! I struggled for weeks and weeks about the decision, and experienced a few sleepless nights, but now I am feeling like my old self again. Even better, I can feel God's hand in all of this. I have been reading and praying and thinking a lot lately, and I can feel the Spirit moving. I can't wait to see where this all leads!