Friday, May 29, 2009

Home from the Hospital

I got home from the hospital yesterday around lunch time. The doctor was right, I was only in there for 48 hours. The surgery went well, my surgeon was very pleased with the procedure. I have absolutely NO appetite at all, the anesthesia made me so nauseous that I didn't notice any pain from the surgery itself. They had me up and walking pretty quick which was a good thing. It is always helpful to have someone make you get up, otherwise you would just want to lay in bed all day. I certainly feel like my insides have been rearranged, and I am still very nauseous and exhausted, but I'm on my way to recovery.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Tomorrow is the day

I go in to the hospital tomorrow morning at 8:00am, and should have my surgery between 10 and 11, depending on how the surgery in front of me goes tomorrow. I'm not really nervous, just ready for the next stage. The liquid diet hasn't been as hard as I anticipated, and I'm looking forward to eating something with flavor in the weeks ahead!
Thanks for all of your well wishes, prayers, phone calls, and texts. I'll keep you posted!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Getting Closer

As of today, I am 4 days away from my surgery, and only two days away from the pools opening for the summer. Yeah!!!! I have more than enough to do to distract myself for the weekend, and I'm am starting to get really excited. I am ready to have this part of the journey over and get the next part started!
I wanted to take a minute to thank all of my amazingly supportive friends, co-workers, and family members. When I started thinking about the WLS (weight loss surgery), I was very hesitant to tell anyone, even some of my own family members. I know a lot of people struggle with weight issues, and this surgery is not accessible to everyone. I also know that may people have a stigma that all weight issues can be cured by diet and exercise. Weight Watchers worked wonders for my mother and some of her friends (and she looks GREAT now), but honestly, it didn't work that great for me. So there are many reasons I was hesitant. I know that people will have their own opinions, shoot - I'm the number one opinion-haver in the world! haha - but that is okay. I am secure in the plan that I am prayerfully following, and I am confident. Will WLS solve all of the problems in my life? Absolutely not. I will still be a control freak, I will still have to go to work every day to make a living, I will still be a single almost-30 year old woman living 500 miles from my family. What it will change is the way I live my life and the outlook I have. I will now have a tool that will assist me in being more healthy and in preventing a handful of obesity related diseases and complications. Surgery alone won't make me happy, but the changes I have fought so hard to make through diet and exercise will now be easier to make - and that makes me happy. It makes me more confident.

That being said, I again say to you - THANK YOU. I appreciate your support, your encouragement, your prayers, and your unconditional love. I am blessed beyond measure to have such a wonderful support system in my life.
Here are two of my last 'before' pictures that I will show you. (The doctor took an official one last week, and I'll take an official one for myself on Monday, but these are more fun!). This is my beautiful cousin Denise and the second is Denise again with my heart - Sadie!

I'll post more this weekend as time allows (between the trips to the pool, the house cleaning, and finishing up last minute things at work!). Love you all!
"Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal."~ Jerome P. Fleishman ~

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Things I Just Don't Get....

I do a LOT of thinking! Too much, probably....but in all that thinking, there are some things I just don't's a small sampling of what goes on inside my brain:

- When you can't/don't have something you want, all of a sudden it seems like everyone around you has it. (i.e. I want to be married and have kids - and it seems like everyone in the world has it but me. OR I can't eat food for two weeks, so it seems like every commercial on TV is for food!)

- It is easier to see other people's mistakes than your own. This works both ways. I see so many of my friends and people I am around on a regular basis make what I would call 'dumb' mistakes in their personal lives. It is so easy for me to see their 'mistakes' but even if I warn them, they make them anyway. Don't think I'm perfect though....I have people 'warn' me of things that I ignore also.

- People have so much trouble following the Golden Rule. Is it THAT hard to be nice to someone, or to think about how your actions effect others?

- Why do I always cry when watching Extreme Home Makeover? I used to never cry, now I cry at everything!

- Grammar and proof-reading are becoming a thing of the past. Now, I know I'm not perfect at this, but I have read so many articles and blogs online this past week that contained typos or grammar mistakes - its sad!

- No matter how long I spend making my grocery list, I always leave something off and end up going back to the store.

- People are willing to sit around and complain about things, but not make an actual move to do it or change it. This is especially annoying at work. I tend to think of myself as a 'doer'. I have tons of ideas, but I don't talk about most of them - only the ones that I can do something about.

- Every time I wash my car it rains.

- Every time I mow my yard, the grass grows back (just kidding - I was just seeing if you were still paying attention on that one!).

That's all I have for now....we'll chat more this week! This is week 2 of the liquid diet, by Tuesday morning I will be halfway done!!!! Thanks for your prayers and support.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Day 4

Ok, I'm just going to be honest. My last post about Day 3 not being too bad? Well, that was before Day 3 was over. After I left work yesterday, I was miserable. Seriously miserable. I gave much thought to quitting the whole process - I mean, I'm only on Day 3 of 14! This is not a good sign, right? I keep remembering what others who have gone through this have told me, and it is that the first three days are the hardest, but after Day 3 it gets easier. Let's hope so, because I can't have too many more meltdowns....I've got too much else to do.
My biggest 'freaking out moment' always comes when I think about the after. I can't drive for 2 weeks. I can't mow my lawn for 4-6 weeks. I can't vacuum my floors for 2-4 (or more) weeks. I have this mentality that I won't be able to do anything at all. I'm sure I'll feel like it, because everyone keeps telling me I'll feel good. For me, that's almost worse than feeling bad, because if I feel good, I'm going to want to do things. I'm not too good at relying on other people, mostly because I have been let down by other people a lot. My parents will be here for the first week, so that will be great - I know I can rely on them. It is after they are gone that I am freaking out about.
I hate to be a downer....I wish I had funny stories to tell, but I don't right now....thanks for your support and prayers.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Day 3

Just imagine with me for a minute that you are only to drink protein shakes and water for 14 days. Think you could do it? I didn't either! I'm only on Day 3, but I am happy to report that I am, in fact, surviving! The first day wasn't too hard; the second day was torture! Today isn't too bad, and hopefully by tomorrow I will not be thinking about food constantly! (One can dream....)

The last two weeks have been more frustrating, but also promising. If any of you have ever had body image issues, you will probably know what I am talking about! First and foremost, it is no secreat that I LOVE clothes. Oh, my gosh, do I love clothes. I loved dresses, I love dressing up, I love doing my hair and wearing jewelry. I love looking pretty and feminine, and put together. What goes right along with loving clothes......SHOPPING! It has long been a dream of mine to be a professional shopper. I would love it! I even like shopping for other people, I'm not selfish! ;-) However, this past year especially, I have not loved clothes. I can't find or keep clothes that fit me right, I don't like the way I look in clothes, and I don't even like getting dressed some days. This morning, for example, I laid in bed for an extra 45 minutes simply because I was putting off getting dressed. That is so not like me. Two weekends ago was the Brookside Art Festival. I have been before and loved it. I didn't go this year, becuase I didn't feel like myself. This has happened many times over the past months. Luckily, I only have a few more weeks of this. That is the promising part. We'll see how it goes!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Here we go....

Today marks day 1 of the liquid only diet. This portion will last the entire two weeks before my surgery. When I first heard it was a liquid diet, I wasn't too worried, because I figured I could have soups, jello, broth, smoothies, etc. Boy was I wrong! I am limited to water and protein shakes. Fun times! I'll keep you updated on how it's going.

In other news, I went home this past weekend and had an absolute blast. I was able to attend my mother's district-wide retirement recognition banquet. It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad my brother and I were both able to attend. On Friday I spent the day with my cousin making cakes, on Saturday I played golf with my brother and dad and my brother's roommate (and I won, by the way...but no bragging here! :-) ). On Saturday afternoon we went to Hillsboro to see my cousin Christen who was home from Boston for the weekend. Then on Sunday we attended Andrew's baptism and had lunch with my dad's side of the family. I had a great weekend, and as always, it was hard to come back to Kansas City. It always takes a few days to settle back in. This time, however, with all the dietary and medication changes due to the impending surgery, it is taking a little bit longer.

Two weeks and counting.....

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Selfish Thoughts

I spent most of the last two days thinking about my upcoming surgery. It hit me Sunday night that I am going to be in a lot of pain, and unable to do the things I take for granted on a daily basis. That thought was overwhelming, and it has tried to consume my thoughts for the past couple of days. However, tonight I sat down for a minute in between finishing up dinner and starting laundry, and hopped on the computer to check blogs. MckMama's post tonight talked about being an 'island', and that was exactly what I felt like all day today. However, she goes on to talk about praying for others so that no one will feel that way. That really snapped me back into reality, and I realized that I had spent so much time the last two days thinking about myself that I haven't really prayed for others. Humbling.

Check out MckMama's blog:

Monday, May 4, 2009

Random musings....

Welcome to my Monday evening random musings! Dinner is in the oven, and since it's meatloaf, I've got time to spare, so I'm sharing with you my random thoughts of the day. Ok, a few of them....I have many :-)

Neighbors.....ah, neighbors. Growing up we had great neighbors, for the most part. There was that weird family who had a tiger in their backyard, but other than that, from what I can recall, our neighbors were always friends. In my parent's neighborhood it is still that way, they have block parties (I even had the pleasure of attending the annual Gingerbread House Decorating party - which was an absolute blast!). Maybe being friends with your neighbors is just a southern thing? Maybe it is just that I am really young compared to my neighbors? In my new neighborhood I have some interesting neighbors.
On the north side is an elderly widower, who is also a veteran. He's a really nice guy and always waves to me. He told me the other day he likes having me for a neighbor. I like having him for a neighbor too.
On the south side is a single lady with the most annoying dogs in the history of man. I learned yesterday that she owns a doggie daycare, which is why yesterday was the first day I had ever seen her. She has a doggie door out back so her annoying dogs can run in and out all...night...long - and bark - - at nothing! You want to know what barking dogs at 3am does to my precious sleeping dogs - just imagine!
Across the street and to the south is a lady who has a young son, probably three or four. I don't think they spend one minute inside the house while the sun (or son - haha) is up. Oh, and they never play in the back yard either - it is always in the front!
But the kicker, and the ones that got me thinking about neighbors are my across the street neighbors - a couple and their grown son. Before I moved in, the girl that lived here told me they owned a landscaping business and were very nice and helpful. According to her, the son did all of the yard work for her. Well, I do my own yard work, so thus far I have not had occasion to meet the son. However.....I met the wife the other day. She came across the street while I was leaving to go to work. She seemed very nice and welcomed me to the neighborhood. Then Saturday I met the husband. He was out doing yard work and I was out front with two of our dogs. (Side note: the backyard collects water, thus making it a muddy nightmare when you let the dogs out, so we let Mimi out back and take Tia and Beta out front. Tia is always on a leash, but Beta is so timid that he would never dream of crossing the street, so I don't put him on a leash. Now, I understand that Beta is a pit bull, but he is not the typical pit bull. Seriously. Up until he graduated from PetSmart Training two weeks ago, he was afraid to even venture out of his kennel for too long, much less meet new people or dogs. Now, however, he is a very friendly dog.) Okay, back to the neighbor came over to 'meet' me, petted and played with the dogs, then told me that his wife was afraid of our dogs and could we please not bring them out front anymore. So, being the nice person that I am, I told him we would put them on leashes if we bring them out front. But my whole thing is....why can't she just stay in the house if she is so scared? She is always looking out the window...I really wanted to say - Newsflash! My dog is not going to run across the street, through your yard, and open your door and come in to your house to attack you. Have you ever known a dog to do that? So today, I took them both out on a leash, and it was a PAIN let me tell you! So now I'm more annoyed than I was on Saturday, but I don't want to be the bad neighbor..... - have you ever heard about this website? It's awesome! You sign up, post your books that you have already read and want to get rid of, and you can 'swap' books with other members. The only thing you have to pay for is the shipping. For the first 10 books you post, you get 2 'credits' which means you can request two books from other members. Once someone requests one of your books, you ship it to them and receive a credit to request another book. It's amazing! Why didn't I think of this! This week I'm reading "Sail" by James Patterson, and I didn't even feel guilty for reading half of it in one day! Check it out.

Ok, that's enough randomness for now. I can smell the meatloaf, so it must be time to put the finishing touches on dinner.

Happy Monday!