Ok, I'm just going to be honest. My last post about Day 3 not being too bad? Well, that was before Day 3 was over. After I left work yesterday, I was miserable. Seriously miserable. I gave much thought to quitting the whole process - I mean, I'm only on Day 3 of 14! This is not a good sign, right? I keep remembering what others who have gone through this have told me, and it is that the first three days are the hardest, but after Day 3 it gets easier. Let's hope so, because I can't have too many more meltdowns....I've got too much else to do.
My biggest 'freaking out moment' always comes when I think about the after. I can't drive for 2 weeks. I can't mow my lawn for 4-6 weeks. I can't vacuum my floors for 2-4 (or more) weeks. I have this mentality that I won't be able to do anything at all. I'm sure I'll feel like it, because everyone keeps telling me I'll feel good. For me, that's almost worse than feeling bad, because if I feel good, I'm going to want to do things. I'm not too good at relying on other people, mostly because I have been let down by other people a lot. My parents will be here for the first week, so that will be great - I know I can rely on them. It is after they are gone that I am freaking out about.
I hate to be a downer....I wish I had funny stories to tell, but I don't right now....thanks for your support and prayers.