I remember in FCA in college, a lot of my friends and I had the same 'favorite verse'. I even remember a overly petty discussion between two people (one of whom may or may not have been me) who both claimed it was 'their verse'. Seriously, like there aren't tons of other verses in the Bible. I digress....the verse I'm referring to is Jeremiah 29:11 -
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
I have been thinking a lot lately about my future and what God has planned for me. Certainly I have strong desires in my heart for certain plans, and I want so strongly to believe that they are desires God has put in my heart, and not desires Rebecca has placed there. In the past few days I have been very sensitive to those plans, and have even begun to think about what my life will look like if these things don't work out. Will I be able to be happy? Will I still praise God? Will I be bitter? Will my introverted nature cause me to withdraw even more? What will my motivation be? What will my goals look like?
Then I have other thoughts too, such as: If these desires/plans do not come to fruition, does that mean I have done something wrong? Have I disappointed God? ...beyond repair? Have my past sins cost me future happiness?
Other moments there are thoughts that resemble these: Does God remember me? (I mean, I know I live in Kansas and all, but I *think* I remember reading He hears prayers even when they don't come from Texas.) Has He given up on me? Have I turned my back on Him so many times that He has hardened his heart toward me? How much longer do I have to be in the valley?
I don't share these thoughts, what I share with others are some of my desires (because some are too strong to hold in), and my own personal plans. Of course I have plans - I'm an ISTJ, a classic Type A, a first born! I probably came out of the womb with plans, because trust me - I've been making them ever since! I know in my mind and heart how I want the next few weeks to look, the next few months, and even the next few years. I'm trying to take the proper steps in the directions I need to go to make that happen. I feel like I have been stagnant regarding my place in life for the past three or four years, now I'm ready to move forward again.
I need to constantly remember that moving forward doesn't mean I'm the leader (despite my ISTJ tendencies, Type A personality, or first-born predisposition) - in this case I need to follow. After all, HE knows the plans HE has for me (He even knows the plans I have for myself). I pray I can submit myself fully to His plans, even if they are not my own.