Listening, learning, letting go

I spent the past two months in a place much different that I thought I would at the beginning of the year. Between endless headaches/migraines, a handful of doctors appointments, way to many hours of working, and my favorite sports time of the year, the months of March & April flew by without any blogging. Nevertheless, the past sixty-plus days have been spent doing a lot of listening, a lot of learning, and a lot of attempts at letting go. So much to say, so many thoughts going through my mind. Simply put, I am at peace and I am happy. I say it so often it sounds cliche or insincere, but I am blessed. Beyond belief.

I think a lot about what I want to be.

I want to be a writer. Writing beautiful letters, or blogs, or journals. I'm not. My writing is messy, all over the place, and infrequent. I always have the best intentions, but don't get around to writing often.

I want to be a runner. I love the idea of running, the solitude, the beauty, the availabilty. I try to run. Not often enough. I'm not good at it. My form is not pretty, I can't go very far at a given time.

I want to be creative. To create beautiful living spaces, or inspiring works or art. To know what colors look incredible together.

I want to be a great friend. I try hard at this. I don't let a lot of people in very close, but the ones I do, I love with everything I have. I try to encourage them, support them, and reach out to them. I'm not that great at it, but I try.

I want to be a wife. Most people accuse me of being picky. Truth be told, I haven't had the opportunity to be pick or even turn anyone away. The chance to date or court hasn't come my way.

I want to be a mother. See the previous paragraph.

I may or may not ever be any of those things. If I'm not, it is okay. Those things are not what really matters.

Bottom line...I want to be a godly woman, and I want to love others. Each day I want to draw closer to Christ and seek him more and more. That's all I really want.

Healing....

A couple of weeks ago, Pete Wilson, pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville posted on his daily blog about healing. His main point was that we all need healing of some kind. Each one of us. If we realized that, and embraced that, how would that change the way we treat each other? How would that change the way we live our lives? You can read Pete's original post here: http://withoutwax.tv/2011/02/08/everyone-needs-healing-2/

I love listening to Pete preach (I podcast him regularly), and have really gotten a lot out of his book, Plan B. As much as I have learned from his sermons and writing, this simple blog post has stuck with me. I sat down that morning to write a quick blog about it and life (i.e. work) got in the way, but the thought hasn't left my mind. In every encounter I have with people, I have started trying to look at where that person needs healing. Sometimes people show it plain as day. Sometimes I have to use my personalisation skills (thanks handy-dandy counseling degree!). Sometimes, all it takes is listening a little closer and asking specific questions. I am truly trying to take myself out of the equations more and listen to those around me.

My heart aches to see others healed. This is nothing new for me. I am always drawn to the hurt in people, and I am usually drawn to the hurt they do not talk about. Not that I want to be the hero that saves the day or the one who 'cures' them. My desire is for everyone to feel loved and whole. For everyone to feel significant and for all their hurts to be healed.

I know that I can't do that for everyone. But I do know that I can do that for some people. And I do know that I can pray. So that's what I'll do. Because we all need healing...