52 & 7 (and Happy New Year)

For the past couple of years, I have spent the later half of December re-evaluating the previous year and setting my personal goals for the following year.  The goals are always well thought out, and pertain to long term dreams/goals, but to be realistic, they are often focused on where my life is in that particular moment. 
For some reason, I did not do that toward the end of 2012.  I blamed some of it on my year feeling like a failure (notice I said feeling).  I didn't really reach any of my goals for 2102, and to be honest, when I look at the surface, it seems like my life has actually digressed instead of progressed.  And that in and of itself was depressing enough to make me not want to look any further, and discouraged me from setting any new goals. 
Then came Jon Acuff.  If you don't know (of) him, you should get to know (of) him!  He is an author and blogger, and the master behind "Stuff Christians Like" (http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/), and one of my favorite books Quitter (http://www.quitterbook.com/).  In any given day, this man and his writing make me laugh so hard I (often) choke on whatever I'm drinking - and inspire me to be better and do better.  So, naturally, something he wrote this week set the tone for my next 52 days - and hopefully all of 2013!  You can read his post here - but the premise is that you take seven core areas of your life, and set goals for them for the next 52 days.  52 days is so much more doable than 365 - at least in my mind! And its makes so much sense - because as he says

"In January, you have no idea what July holds or what September will be like or what

 storm will rock your shores in November. But you press on, and make

your biggest decisions when you have the least information at the start of the year."

 

 

 I can do this! And I'm excited about it! So my first 52&7 (which goes Jan 1 - Feb 21) looks like this:

 

Financial:

Bring lunch to work 4 out of 5 days

No new clothes/accessories

No new golf equipment (this will be the hardest, trust me!)

 

Physical

30 min of physical activity 4x week (not including golf)

Yoga at least once a week

 

Social

Send 1 encouraging note/card a week

Return friend's phone calls within 24 hours

"Be present" - wherever I am, whomever I am with, be in that moment and not playing on my phone, etc.

 

Mental

Limit TV to 1 show a night

Write more

 

Career

Complete Level 2 of HH PRO Certification

Respond to all work related emails within 24 hours

 

Family

Spend one day each with Sadie & Andrew

"Be present"

 

Spiritual

Complete daily readings of "Jesus Calling"

Follow along with my church on the Season of Prayer readings

Complete personal study of Isaiah

 

The great thing about setting goals 52 days at a time? They're not as lofty and feel much more realistic.  I read a lot every day, and come across numerous great ideas - but I don't follow through on them.  I read this one as soon as I got to work yesterday, and it was so fitting, because you see, as I was driving to work yesterday, I was thinking and praying about the year ahead and how I am jealous that others have said they had a word or scripture for 2012 and were able to see God move in that particular way for them that year.  As I was driving, the words INTENTIONAL DISCIPLINE came to me.  If you know me, the intentional part is par for the course; the discipline thing....scares me crazy! So Intentional Discipline it is for 2013.  The scripture part, I'm still working on.  I'm excited to see what God does in the next 52 days and throughout 2013, and I'm excited (ok, and a little apprehensive) to see what Intentional Discipline brings. 

 



Finding the thankful

I almost wrote yesterday, and the day before that, and the week before that, and some weeks before that, too. I didn't. Want the excuses? No? Good; me, either.

I had to video myself giving a presentation this week. Talk about a humbling experience. I talk all day long, and present tons - but this was a different ballgame. There were stakes involved, I know the person who will be evaluating it, and I am in a season of being attacked for my inadequacy.  Complicated, much? Ha! The good news - I got the video done and submitted it before I recorded it again; the bad news - it took me 14 takes.  FOURTEEN. Um...Perfectionist meet Becca. Wowzers.

I admit, I love social media. I have had the chance to reconnect with some great friends that I would have otherwise lost touch with. I have also been able to stay connected to some people I may have never stayed connected to. But social media beats me up. Every day. Some days it is just a little shove into a wall, evoking nothing more than an internal wince. Other days it is a full blown shove me down the stairs, kick me in the ribs event of such proportions that I fully expect to feel the soreness and see physical bruises on my body the next morning. Such is the cycle of a perfectionist. Beth Moore makes an excellent point in "So Long Insecurity" - she says that insecurity wears an extravagant mask of perfectionism.  No truer sentence has ever been written about me. (Well, ok, except for everything in the Bible, but you get my point.)

A woman I greatly admire is Angie Smith - such an incredible writer and beautiful soul. If I ever get the chance to meet her, I am going to give her the biggest hug and thank you ever (and hopefully not creep her out!).  All of her writing touches my heart - I have been following her blog for a while now.  Yesterday, she posted an article on (in)Courage titled "The New Pretty".  In it she talks about the pictures we create of our lives on social media - and the effects it has on others. I'll admit - there have been many times I went to post a picture or update or share a link to an article, and didn't because I didn't think it was exciting enough, funny enough, pretty enough, etc. As if there are not enough battles to fight in this lifetime, you know being born into sin and all - now I have piled on the extra layer of comparing myself to the world through social media. (In addition to the other eleventy thousand places I compare myself to other people every other minute of my life!)

I put on a few pounds in the past three months - nine to be exact. It is humbling. And upsetting. My prayers have started to turn selfish in the past few weeks/months. It is humbling. And upsetting.  Work is hard. My heart longs for things that God has not (yet?) brought to my life. My goals and dreams sometimes feel so far away. Friendships take work. Family dynamics take work. God is gently reminding me that it's not about me or my own plans.

So today I write.  I want November to be very intentional - in my prayers, in my spending, in my relationships, in my health, and in my pursuit of my goals. All this happens to coincide with the month many Americans set aside to meditate on what they are thankful for.

Today I write - to find the thankful. Today I am thankful. I am thankful for a God who can heal the wounds that no one else can see. Who picks me up when I feel like I have been battered by my own comparison, and gently whispers in my ear "You are EXACTLY who I want you to be and where I want you to be, and it is impossible for me to love you more."