Two weeks off work is definitely TOO much time on my hands. I have things I "need" to be doing, things I "want" to do, and things that just some how come up every day that take my time instead. If if weren't for this durn internet thing, I'd probably get some of the things that I "need" to do done. Oh, well.
On the plus side - not being able to eat or drive for two weeks sure saves a lot of money! Seriously - I was balancing my account today and was amazed! However, not being able to eat is actually pretty depressing. Yes, I can certainly focus on the ultimate goal; and doing so makes me feel better. However, sometimes you just want to taste something. Besides protein drinks or shakes, of course.
It is still a struggle when I put anything in my stomach, and I have to admit it is becoming quite depressing. I had been feeling pretty well last weekend, and starting Monday had setting into my 3 meals a day plus vitamins. I felt pretty good on Monday, but on Tuesday the nausea come back in full force. So, I am back to drinking protein drinks, 1.7 oz at a time, and even that is making me nauseous. Thus the depression. Again, I am focusing on the long-term goals, and that does help, but there is also the here-and-now to consider.
I walk every day - usually twice a day unless it is raining. I even added a little jogging into the mix last night and I felt pretty good afterwards.
The boredom is the worst part. I have read 3 books and countless magazines, taken at least two walks a day, watched numerous hours of dvr and a couple of movies, and I am now completely restless and bored. I can only read so much, can only watch so much tv, etc. I think I could get over the feeling of nausea every time I eat (drink), it I were able to drive myself somewhere! A friend took me to Wal-mart yesterday, and even though I had a list, I didn't get everything I needed because it is different when you are on someone else's time. My mom's birthday card is going to be late, because I had to have someone drive me to the store to buy her a card. This is SO not the world I am used to living in! It is one thing to step back and reflect and use the down-time for prayer and meditation - believe me, I have done PLENTY of that. Now, I am just ready to get out of here and take this show on the road! I go see the doctor on Tuesday for my 2-week post-op appointment, and all I hope to hear is good news.
Sorry to be so negative; I'm just being honest.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Home for How Many More Days?????
Here is the latest update, it is actually the body of an email I sent to my aunt and cousins this morning, but rather than typing the same information again, I figured this would be easiest. Oh, and yeah....I'm not allowed to go back to work until a week from TOMORROW. That's right, 8 more days!!!!
Apparently I have a serious aversion to anesthesia, because while I had absolutely no pain at all, I was severely nauseous most of the time I was in the hospital. I felt like I had to keep pestering the nurses and trying to make them believe me! They kept asking why I didn't use the pain pump, and I told them I didn't need it - I needed anti-nausea medication! Late on Tuesday night they gave me something that seemed to work, but I was still feeling the effects when I got home Friday (the car ride was fun!). I remember very little from the time I got on the operating table on Tuesday until Thursday morning, but apparently the doctor was very pleased with how the surgery went. He said there was very little bleeding. I have seven little incisions, and by little I mean less than a half inch each. They are so little that none of them required stitches; they taped them and then covered them with a waterproof dressing, and they're already healing nicely - except they itch like crazy!
It took a few days to get everything out of my system, and I really didn't start feeling like myself until late Saturday when mom was here. I have been walking at least twice a day since I got home from the hospital, and now I'm up to two miles a day - a mile in the morning and a mile in the evening. I feel great most of the time - except when I eat. That is still a very hard adjustment for me. I have been taking the "New Whey" bullets, we bought the ones that have 42g of protein in them, so I only have to drink half of one at a meal, and that alone about does me in. I've been trying to get in some soup or applesauce or pudding, but even just drinking the protein I have to lay down for about 20 minutes after I eat. I'm really hoping this part gets better - soon! I struggle to get all of my water in, the dr said to work up to 64 oz, and yesterday was the first day that I got 32oz in, which I was very proud of! The doctor did tell me that he made my pouch a little smaller than usual, he said it just worked out that way. I'm not sure what a little smaller means, but it obviously means right now that it can't handle any more than 2oz of liquid protein and 2 spoonfuls of soup! However, all of that being said, I weighed myself this morning and I was down 10.5 lbs from the Saturday before my surgery (the 23rd), so a little over a week.
The no driving thing was fine while dad and mom was here, but it is driving me crazy now. Not that I have anywhere to go really, it is just the thought of relying on someone else. Being out of work is a little of a drag and a little of a blessing. I have realized in the past few days that I am not in love with my job anymore, and that if I didn't have this particular one, I wouldn't be too sad, so that has been eye-opening. I've also realized that I don't want to stay in Kansas City too much longer. It is a great place with great people, but at the end of the day, you can't beat being close to family. When mom left Sunday I lost it. I felt so alone. I know that I am not alone, I have Randall's family and some great friends that are checking up on me and offering to do a lot of things for me, but it's just not the same as family. Its a lot easier to ask my mom to vacuum my floors and my dad to wash my towels than it is a good friend - at least for me!
Apparently I have a serious aversion to anesthesia, because while I had absolutely no pain at all, I was severely nauseous most of the time I was in the hospital. I felt like I had to keep pestering the nurses and trying to make them believe me! They kept asking why I didn't use the pain pump, and I told them I didn't need it - I needed anti-nausea medication! Late on Tuesday night they gave me something that seemed to work, but I was still feeling the effects when I got home Friday (the car ride was fun!). I remember very little from the time I got on the operating table on Tuesday until Thursday morning, but apparently the doctor was very pleased with how the surgery went. He said there was very little bleeding. I have seven little incisions, and by little I mean less than a half inch each. They are so little that none of them required stitches; they taped them and then covered them with a waterproof dressing, and they're already healing nicely - except they itch like crazy!
It took a few days to get everything out of my system, and I really didn't start feeling like myself until late Saturday when mom was here. I have been walking at least twice a day since I got home from the hospital, and now I'm up to two miles a day - a mile in the morning and a mile in the evening. I feel great most of the time - except when I eat. That is still a very hard adjustment for me. I have been taking the "New Whey" bullets, we bought the ones that have 42g of protein in them, so I only have to drink half of one at a meal, and that alone about does me in. I've been trying to get in some soup or applesauce or pudding, but even just drinking the protein I have to lay down for about 20 minutes after I eat. I'm really hoping this part gets better - soon! I struggle to get all of my water in, the dr said to work up to 64 oz, and yesterday was the first day that I got 32oz in, which I was very proud of! The doctor did tell me that he made my pouch a little smaller than usual, he said it just worked out that way. I'm not sure what a little smaller means, but it obviously means right now that it can't handle any more than 2oz of liquid protein and 2 spoonfuls of soup! However, all of that being said, I weighed myself this morning and I was down 10.5 lbs from the Saturday before my surgery (the 23rd), so a little over a week.
The no driving thing was fine while dad and mom was here, but it is driving me crazy now. Not that I have anywhere to go really, it is just the thought of relying on someone else. Being out of work is a little of a drag and a little of a blessing. I have realized in the past few days that I am not in love with my job anymore, and that if I didn't have this particular one, I wouldn't be too sad, so that has been eye-opening. I've also realized that I don't want to stay in Kansas City too much longer. It is a great place with great people, but at the end of the day, you can't beat being close to family. When mom left Sunday I lost it. I felt so alone. I know that I am not alone, I have Randall's family and some great friends that are checking up on me and offering to do a lot of things for me, but it's just not the same as family. Its a lot easier to ask my mom to vacuum my floors and my dad to wash my towels than it is a good friend - at least for me!
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